so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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