I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Naked Twister starts at high noon
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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