Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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