There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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