I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
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My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
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I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize