i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
