Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
