I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
