It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
