Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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