I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
