Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
