last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
