After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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