'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
