Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
