It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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