hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she peed on how many people?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
