I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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