Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
