She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
