just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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