Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's never too late to be topless.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
