I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
