we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
