pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
