If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
