Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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