Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
