dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
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He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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