"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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