He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
