We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
