As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
