Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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