No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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