I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
