I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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