He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize