tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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