Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize