so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
