Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I had to cum in my sink.
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