That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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