SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You can't just leave with hair like that
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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