if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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