I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
