Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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