i would punch a child for taco bell
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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