I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm passing your future prison.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
