There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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