no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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