Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
