And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
