I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
