NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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