Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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