I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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