if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
