I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
