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i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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