I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
